Haylooos lovely peepuls……..Long time………No posts on the blog……..Am sure u must be missing the Great Great ME!!! :)
Well lifes been bizi off late…..Marriage season on na…so quite many shaadis to attend….Bizi me I tell u!!! ;)
Lolz…..Welll..tht apart……the REAL reason y I have bin away from the blog is…………..[suspense]
……..is………[suspense grows]
………….is…………[suspense grows more]
[eye brows raised]
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.
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.
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[ppl luking for stuff to hit me]
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.
.
.
ok ok ok Peace!!!
Hmmm so the real reason why I hv bin away from the blog is………I GOT A NEW CELL PHONE…..[shock…gasps……ppl fainting]……. and have bin bizi getting hang of it n exploring all its features!!!!!!
Control ppl control……..well u c…my 6 saal ka saathi..my very own 6610 couldn’t really stand the test of time any more…….or shud I say……mere bechare cell phone ko nazar lag hi gayi….iss zalim duniya se mere sleek n smart cell phone ki tandarust lambi umar dekhi nahin gayi……..uski choti se choti bimari pe logon ne itna celebrate kiya ki wo bechara yeh gham seh nahin saka!! :(
Mujhe aaj bhi yaad hai……ek baar uska sim card recognition band ho gaya…Bhumi was to dancing around with joy!!! Boli…yeh fone to gaya ab..lets buy a new one!!! She even made plans for cell phone shopping!!! But it turned out ki my sim card was defective!!Mere phone ke dil pe kya guzri ye to wahi janata hai …uski loyality pe ungli uthayi gayi thi….uski 6 saal ki seva ko nazarandaaz kiya jaa raha tha!! Ufffff
Inhi sab khayalo me khoya khoya…ek din bechara charge hote waqt behosh ho kar table se neeche hi gir pada…..aur uska charging point toot gaya. To uspe Nitasha ne kaha….Mubarak Ho!!! Finally toot hi gaya phone!!!! :o…How mean can anyone get!!...Toota hua charger to Nokia center pe repair ho gaya..par mere phone ka dil aisa toota …ki awaaz bhi nahin aayi……bas vadiyon mein ek gana baj raha tha…toota toota ek cellphone ka dil aise toota ki fir judd na paya…….
Anddddddd.. One Fine Day.. the poor fone went into longggggggggggg silent mode!!!!... so I had my eyes glued on to it every moment…....not to miss any call u c [ me being the IMPORTANT ME!!! :p]…seconds…minutes..hours…days passed by…my phone didn’t speak!! :(… Kisi ne kaha…mandir le jao….to kisi ne kaha try Shock therapy…Ab aur koi raasta nahin nazar aaya to I just threw it on the carpeted floor of my office n voila!!! IT STARTED RINGING!!!!!! Like they say…laaton ke bhoot baton se nahin maante!!! :p
Celebrations began again………but I was d only one rejoicing…rest everyone was sulking on the great comeback my phone had made!!!.......yeh dukh to jaise mere phone ke dil me gharr hi kar gaya……….aur fir wo din aaya..jab mera phone fir se Shaant Samadhi me chala gaya aur fir kabhi laut kar nahin aaya!!! Sob sob…sniff sniff…. :’(
Aisi situation mein talaash shuru hui ek naye cell phone ki…..smthing which could match up wth my 6610 in sleekness and looks!!! :D….Sasta Sundar Tikau to be precise!!! ;)
After bahut saari nokia center visits…hypercity visits and dunno whr all visits…I finally shortlisted two fones…Nokie E-51 and Nokia E-66…For the uninformed…I m a die hard Nokia Fan…so all the motorolas n sony erricssons..Please excuse……..
Haan….to ab do fone pasand aaye…E-51 11k ka n E-66 20k ka….jyaada pasand E-66 tha coz of its slider design…but 20K phookne ka koi mood bhi nahin tha…Isi kashmakash me mere 10 toes din raat ek kar rahe the ki ek din khabar mili ki Ani ne E-51 khareeda hai……unko usi waqt bulava bheja gaya ki apna Phone le kar Maharani Niati ke darbaar me haazir ho!!!
Wo phone le kar aaye….Maine unka phone explore kiya………..aisa pyaar hua uss phone se ki kya bataun……raat ko 8:30 baje main unhe pakad ke Alpha le gayi fone khareedne ….….
And Ladies and Gentlemen………Put your hands together for my new Phone…….A black and Silver Nokia E-51!!!! *Claps galore* [ Niati takes a bow with her new phone] :)
It’s a nice sleek and smart fone with all the features [ ok now dnt ask me d details..i hv to myself explore them!!! :p]……. in the absence of my lappy…its doubling up as my internet access point!!! :)… so all my Orkut/Facebook regulars…u better send in your letters of appreciation for my E-51 soon!!! *wink
Ab aap log to jaante hi hain….naya zamana…..nayi technology………samajhne mein time to lagta hi hai….. so I m sure now all of u can understand what has been keeping me away from this blog which is actually a responsibility of three of us…but the other two seem to have migrated to Antarctica and hence unable to contribute since the last 2.5Months!!!
Anyways..talks of my old phone have made me so nostalgic…sniff sniff…..so I’ll sign off now and hold a 2 mins prayer session for his soul……request you all to join in please…..sab log apni apni jagah chair/table pe khade ho jaye…Ho sakein to aas paas ke doston ko bhi bula lein…...aankhen band karein..dono haath sir ke oopar karein…..n zor se chillayein….. HAIL NIATI’S 6610!!!! :)
Thank You everyone…I m touched…. :)
P.s. Well do activate ur brain cels n come up wth an excuse just in case.. ur boss sees you hailing my phone in office!! He he he he :p
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
.......... Ke Haseen Sapne :)
“
Now STEALING animals is surely not legal….so panic sets in the room…But chill….Main Hoon Na!!! [Aah Shahrukh Khan shud thank me for mentioning his Super Flop movie in my esteemed blog!!] the STRONG ME (gaur farmaiyga!!)…actually picked up the 3 lions one by one , squeezed them with my palms and put them in a small hand bag (the one generally carried by men to carry papers around!!) and zip up the bag!! Phew..soo tiring I tell u!!....But then these stupid lions refuse to stop growling inspite of being locked up in the bag…..so I tell tushar to go n gv them some sedative so that they stop making so much noise while I go out n handle the jungle officials….
But after some 15-20 minutes..i realize tht they r growling louder..so I go n ask tushar if he gave them the sedatives…so he INNOCENTLY replies!! “Oh wo sedative lions ko dena tha!! Mujhe laga tune bola ki kitchen ki drain me cockroach bahut hain..isliye main to wo sedative drain me daal aaya!!!!!!!!!!”…and while I m trying to catch hold of my mouth wich had actually dropped down in astonishment..Mr Vineet is literally Rolling on the Floor laughing!!!! I m telling him to do something…but he just wudnt stop laughing…now joined by tush also…..so now thrs poor me shouting…the jungle officials banging the door and two useless fellas laughing away to glory….and POP!! Goes my dream and I wake up!!!
[The Genius Takes a Bow]
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Happiness @ Sale!!...Go buy a pup!! :)
“I'd be happy to have my biography be the stories of my dogs. To me, to live without dogs would mean accepting a form of blindness.”
Hes truly the Sultan of the house…and our hearts too!!! Who else would dare to snatch our blankets at 5 in the morning and drag us out of our beds coz its his morning walk time!!! Hes getting smarter with each day..when he was small…n barked in the morning…we would just pull the blanket over are heads and pretend tht we cant hear…but now…he really dsnt waste his energy much..he’ll bang into the room….gv a louuuuuddddd bark….wot u ignored him??? Ohkk…he’ll come over to your bed….take the tiny corner of the blanket hanging down from the bed in his mouth and just march out of the room…now if u think u can win this tug of war!!u r mistaken….better leave d bed soon!!
And to top it..he brags…”see! With the breakfast I make for sultan..his coat has become so shiny and black!!”…and I just stand there looking at my thinning hairline…making plans to confiscate Sultan’s breakfast soon!![yeah bad hair days can do such things to you!!]
But I have to tell u this….Sultan is sooooooooooo sharp…he may be in anyyyyyyy corner of the house..but the moment he hears his dog food box opening..he’ll come russssssssssssssshing to the kitchen…however quite u try to be…he can just sense it…and when hes waiting 4 his food…hes at his best..i mean u pull his ears..u hug him…do anyyyyyything..he’ll not budge….varna to you really have to flex all your muscles to get him in
So u see..whuever said..its a Dog’s life…must nt hv experienced it 4 sure!! A Dog’s life is just sooo amazing guys!! But then dnt they soooooooooooooooooo deserve it…..
For all the unconditional love that they give….
For that gentle nuzzling tht they give whn u r having a bad day!!
For they way they let you touch themselves…and respond back with a warm lick..
And I must say…After a lifetime of affectionate regard for dogs and many years of close observation and reflection, I have reached the conclusion that We dont own Dogs….They own US!! :)
p.s. I have one more Dog….about him..Later..On popular Demand u c!! ;)
Thursday, September 11, 2008
The Importance of being UNIQUE
ps - owing title inspiration from 'the importance of being earnest' ... read on n you'll know why my ps starts at the beginning of the blog n not at the end!
The word that caught my attention is UNIQUE not disappointment, frustration, unfairness or even isolation....but unlike chetan i realized i am unique from the moment i was born....i walked a lil distantly with tht haughtiness which comes with being unique n the happiness in knowing no one is like you... ;)
if anyone ever needs a single word in their life it is UNIQUE...i mean ok i do believe in oneness and tht we all go into that one point where we originated from (big bang anyone) but tht idea is for world peace more n less for daily living....
here n now...u need to know yourself and love everything about you...and if anyone doesn't like u - its their problem...they were good for nothing in the first place so dont even bother giving them too much weightage...
another thing in life...when u meet people who think they r UNIQUE and a tad degree MORE than you....whatever gave them that stupid idea!!! Just be yourself and i'd give a mantra for those kinds - IGNORE...after all we came from one point n we will meet again at some point till then hasta la vistaa!!
ok...now this is a blog than a comment so it goes into becoming a blog....
muuuaaahh ------ to myself for being UNIQUE!
love thyself!
From
Ms. Unique to the Universe
The word that caught my attention is UNIQUE not disappointment, frustration, unfairness or even isolation....but unlike chetan i realized i am unique from the moment i was born....i walked a lil distantly with tht haughtiness which comes with being unique n the happiness in knowing no one is like you... ;)
if anyone ever needs a single word in their life it is UNIQUE...i mean ok i do believe in oneness and tht we all go into that one point where we originated from (big bang anyone) but tht idea is for world peace more n less for daily living....
here n now...u need to know yourself and love everything about you...and if anyone doesn't like u - its their problem...they were good for nothing in the first place so dont even bother giving them too much weightage...
another thing in life...when u meet people who think they r UNIQUE and a tad degree MORE than you....whatever gave them that stupid idea!!! Just be yourself and i'd give a mantra for those kinds - IGNORE...after all we came from one point n we will meet again at some point till then hasta la vistaa!!
ok...now this is a blog than a comment so it goes into becoming a blog....
muuuaaahh ------ to myself for being UNIQUE!
love thyself!
From
Ms. Unique to the Universe
Labels:
Unique-dom
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Few thoughts shared by Chetan Bhagat. How justifiable....
"There are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame.
These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration,
unfairness and loneliness of purpose.
Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the
expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure.
Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out
stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will
need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I
wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians
kill themselves over low grades - how silly is that? But that is how
much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always
be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you
are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or
potential. And that's where you want to be.
Disappointment's cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you
ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is
especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job
you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you
chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for
Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely
lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release.
Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into
something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with
it? A realistic assessment of the time involved - movies take a long
time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain
enjoyment in the process rather than the end result - at least I was
learning how to write scripts, having a side plan - I had my third
book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions
in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it.
Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign
somewhere, you took it too seriously.
Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is
how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful
faces, pedigree find it easier to make it - not just in Bollywood, but
everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few
opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to
make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to
achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high,
and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some
people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to
college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty
damm lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and
get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my
readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't
get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I
have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't
let unfairness kill your spark.
Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you
grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all
kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you
still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize
you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you
feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can
create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may
drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop
playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give
up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family.
But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise.
Love yourself first, and then others.
There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment,
frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like
the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You
just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die."
These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration,
unfairness and loneliness of purpose.
Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the
expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure.
Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out
stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will
need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I
wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians
kill themselves over low grades - how silly is that? But that is how
much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always
be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you
are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or
potential. And that's where you want to be.
Disappointment's cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you
ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is
especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job
you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you
chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for
Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely
lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release.
Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into
something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with
it? A realistic assessment of the time involved - movies take a long
time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain
enjoyment in the process rather than the end result - at least I was
learning how to write scripts, having a side plan - I had my third
book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions
in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it.
Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign
somewhere, you took it too seriously.
Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is
how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful
faces, pedigree find it easier to make it - not just in Bollywood, but
everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few
opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to
make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to
achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high,
and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some
people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to
college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty
damm lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and
get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my
readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't
get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I
have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't
let unfairness kill your spark.
Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you
grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all
kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you
still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize
you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you
feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can
create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may
drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop
playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give
up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family.
But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise.
Love yourself first, and then others.
There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment,
frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like
the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You
just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die."
Ek naye bhagwan ki khoj
doston...friends....
hum aaj chale hain ek naye bhagwan ki khoj mein. ab obviously one tends to think - kyon bhai kya hogaya ... aisa kya dukh aa gaya..??
ab kya arz kiya jaaye....aajkal har electric cheez...refrigerator, washing machine, dryer, COMPUTER, dvd player....these have made us totally dependent on them....and the horror of all horrors...one morning your machine is not working and the thought of all the clothes piling up can make u break into a sweat or like today i saw my fridge conking off (the first year warranty expired on 7th Sept.!!) and the thought of all the milk going bad n those gorgeous chocolates melting n the veggies spoiling....u quickly call up the fixing guy n he hands u a biggg bill...
oh and this isnt y i am writing the blog today...last to last week...we were without electricity for 5 hours...gassssspssssss!! Yes...and all bcoz our MCP (not the male chauvnistic pig...) had some problem....being a tuesday no electrician would show up....we somehow got over that day only to realize that our dear Anil Ambani has decided to cut off our electricity for a few hours everyday....andddd our inverter is also JUSTTT out of warranty and the repair guy says - madam u need new batteries - another bill!!!
And well my tale of unending horrors....i ask my internet provider to send a wireless modem....it arrives....the guy who has to install comes.....and he comes again n he comes again n he comes yet again coz they just cant seem to figure out why its not working!!! And lo - behold....it starts working one fine day - just like that! Miracle....someone heard me up there...but who???
and this is still not the end of my story....my laptop's dvd player suddenly decides to stop working - my expensive dvd/cd system also refuses to work.....ohhh i have offended someone....but who????
i have a movie i am dying to see for a few months but just my luck.....its a dvd....n it wont play in my house...
so the conclusion i come to is - i pray to all gods....ganesh ji - to take away obstacles ; shiv ji - please send me a good guy to get married to ; hanuman ji - oh well women cant pray to him coz he's the bachelor god...ram ji - inspire idealism in me; durga ma - give me strength....and lakshmi ji - please sponsor my shopping trips....etc. etc.... but hey.... my life revolves around electricity n electric appliances n i am not praying to any god for that!!!!!!! BLASPHEMY!!!! Obviously i am haunted by bad luck in all the gadgets....so here i am....in khoj or search of new god....the bijli god or shud we call him/her the bijli upkaran god....and i am not sure whether to pray it in male form or female???
ohh...the irony....is anyone more enlightened and help me..??? for everyone facing life's difficult moments be it your food processor or ur microwave or ur oven.....be it the server in office or the inverter or wireless modem....be it ur iron or ur hair dryer......its ruled by some god and in these modern times we need to search out the new evolved god....and erect temples and do havans....please be appeased....please give us your blessings...
from a bechari Bhakt in your true searcch
hum aaj chale hain ek naye bhagwan ki khoj mein. ab obviously one tends to think - kyon bhai kya hogaya ... aisa kya dukh aa gaya..??
ab kya arz kiya jaaye....aajkal har electric cheez...refrigerator, washing machine, dryer, COMPUTER, dvd player....these have made us totally dependent on them....and the horror of all horrors...one morning your machine is not working and the thought of all the clothes piling up can make u break into a sweat or like today i saw my fridge conking off (the first year warranty expired on 7th Sept.!!) and the thought of all the milk going bad n those gorgeous chocolates melting n the veggies spoiling....u quickly call up the fixing guy n he hands u a biggg bill...
oh and this isnt y i am writing the blog today...last to last week...we were without electricity for 5 hours...gassssspssssss!! Yes...and all bcoz our MCP (not the male chauvnistic pig...) had some problem....being a tuesday no electrician would show up....we somehow got over that day only to realize that our dear Anil Ambani has decided to cut off our electricity for a few hours everyday....andddd our inverter is also JUSTTT out of warranty and the repair guy says - madam u need new batteries - another bill!!!
And well my tale of unending horrors....i ask my internet provider to send a wireless modem....it arrives....the guy who has to install comes.....and he comes again n he comes again n he comes yet again coz they just cant seem to figure out why its not working!!! And lo - behold....it starts working one fine day - just like that! Miracle....someone heard me up there...but who???
and this is still not the end of my story....my laptop's dvd player suddenly decides to stop working - my expensive dvd/cd system also refuses to work.....ohhh i have offended someone....but who????
i have a movie i am dying to see for a few months but just my luck.....its a dvd....n it wont play in my house...
so the conclusion i come to is - i pray to all gods....ganesh ji - to take away obstacles ; shiv ji - please send me a good guy to get married to ; hanuman ji - oh well women cant pray to him coz he's the bachelor god...ram ji - inspire idealism in me; durga ma - give me strength....and lakshmi ji - please sponsor my shopping trips....etc. etc.... but hey.... my life revolves around electricity n electric appliances n i am not praying to any god for that!!!!!!! BLASPHEMY!!!! Obviously i am haunted by bad luck in all the gadgets....so here i am....in khoj or search of new god....the bijli god or shud we call him/her the bijli upkaran god....and i am not sure whether to pray it in male form or female???
ohh...the irony....is anyone more enlightened and help me..??? for everyone facing life's difficult moments be it your food processor or ur microwave or ur oven.....be it the server in office or the inverter or wireless modem....be it ur iron or ur hair dryer......its ruled by some god and in these modern times we need to search out the new evolved god....and erect temples and do havans....please be appeased....please give us your blessings...
from a bechari Bhakt in your true searcch
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Advice free hai - baanto!
Hello everyone....
A peculiar condition prevails in most parts of india - in the young it manifests as - Fundae dene ki bimaari or fundomania. As the condition progresses with age - it converts into the deadly - Advice dene ki bimaari or advice de de kar maarne ki bimaari...the sufferer is actually not the one who is suffering from this deadly condition but is actually the individual or a group which comes in contact with people suffering from this condition.
Humare desh mein - everyone has an opinion (even before the 24 x 7 news channels came with their senseless breaking news) and based on this people feel its their right to give opinion/fundae/advice on EVERYTHING!!!
List is long... but starting from What to wear or what not to wear (the single most exasperating thing for women....hello please let us be....we'll figure out what we like!!!) to what to eat or what not to eat....what to study or what not to study (i was told not to do law because lawyers are Liars n it wud spoil my Karma!!) well n if someone in ur family is getting married then there are a million taboos...like u cant wear white n u cant wear black (the single most flattering colour on any woman!!!! How cud they do it to us!!!) and well the amount u can talk or meet ur fiance....its endless....people will drop by n tell u what to tell ur future in-laws (orchestrated conversation...anyone??!!!) or when to order ur cards n every mundane activity (some useful tips do come our way in all the advice-o-mania) is discussed threadbare...even the size of the thali for pooja will draw comments...
Ok...and getting a little personal...if i choose to be in business (being a girl....phewwww!!!) then obviously its such an unknown thing that the single most common advice/fundae given to me is about the importance of joining an MNC (well CRAP!!!!! Dont suggest it to me again....i am probably calling u all sorts or unflattering names in my dicitionary n u r definitely going in my ignore user list!) Young people love to give fundae....trust me thr are very few non-judgemental types left in this world....so u r bound to suffer from inane advice....or make others suffer with u!!!
The one positive thing out of this is - u learn to be PATIENT....i fight by closing my brains (my entire CPU goes into hibernation mode) ... now anyone who has suffered at my hands ... (i know i am no good either)....being opinionated runs in the family....my heartfelt sympathies....
The moral of the story....advice free hai - baanto - But only when asked.....
A peculiar condition prevails in most parts of india - in the young it manifests as - Fundae dene ki bimaari or fundomania. As the condition progresses with age - it converts into the deadly - Advice dene ki bimaari or advice de de kar maarne ki bimaari...the sufferer is actually not the one who is suffering from this deadly condition but is actually the individual or a group which comes in contact with people suffering from this condition.
Humare desh mein - everyone has an opinion (even before the 24 x 7 news channels came with their senseless breaking news) and based on this people feel its their right to give opinion/fundae/advice on EVERYTHING!!!
List is long... but starting from What to wear or what not to wear (the single most exasperating thing for women....hello please let us be....we'll figure out what we like!!!) to what to eat or what not to eat....what to study or what not to study (i was told not to do law because lawyers are Liars n it wud spoil my Karma!!) well n if someone in ur family is getting married then there are a million taboos...like u cant wear white n u cant wear black (the single most flattering colour on any woman!!!! How cud they do it to us!!!) and well the amount u can talk or meet ur fiance....its endless....people will drop by n tell u what to tell ur future in-laws (orchestrated conversation...anyone??!!!) or when to order ur cards n every mundane activity (some useful tips do come our way in all the advice-o-mania) is discussed threadbare...even the size of the thali for pooja will draw comments...
Ok...and getting a little personal...if i choose to be in business (being a girl....phewwww!!!) then obviously its such an unknown thing that the single most common advice/fundae given to me is about the importance of joining an MNC (well CRAP!!!!! Dont suggest it to me again....i am probably calling u all sorts or unflattering names in my dicitionary n u r definitely going in my ignore user list!) Young people love to give fundae....trust me thr are very few non-judgemental types left in this world....so u r bound to suffer from inane advice....or make others suffer with u!!!
The one positive thing out of this is - u learn to be PATIENT....i fight by closing my brains (my entire CPU goes into hibernation mode) ... now anyone who has suffered at my hands ... (i know i am no good either)....being opinionated runs in the family....my heartfelt sympathies....
The moral of the story....advice free hai - baanto - But only when asked.....
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Shaadi ki sooch ki kahani ek ladke ke zubaani..............
Doston bahut dino se ek sawaal tha maan mein. socha gupshup gali ke jyareye sabse banta jaye.
ab hum sab us umar mein pahunch gaye jahan kabhi na sochne wale baat samne aati hai baar baar shaadi shaadi shaddi.... aur vaise bhi humare aas pass ki sabhe logon ke shaddi ho rahe hai.
tu mene bhi socha kyun na sabse poocha jaya aur sabse banta jaya apna iradaa.
bhai hum to bilkul tyaar hain shaadi ke liye. apni to poori planning hai shaadi ko le kar. ladki kaise hone chhahiye, uske ghar vale kaise, uske saheliyaan (most imp) etc etc. bhai ladki ek dum chand ka tukda, na lakhonn mein na karoodein bas duniya mein ek. baki jo thoda bahut khana bana le. bas MBA,MCA ho kafi hai jyada nahin, bas english bol lete ho, hain koi aur international language ho acha rahega, kal ko business mein help milege.. see global sochna padhta hai bhai ..
baki ladki susheel ho, gharelo ho but saath mein dance bhi jante ho.. aaj kal clubbing ka jamama hai bhai.. nahin tu ruppee room aur colaba walon ka dhandha bandh... baki ladki ke puraane affair thode kaam hi hoon.. nahin tu pata nahin kaunse mahi(bachna ee haseeno) humare haath aa jayee... baki aaj kal mushkeel hi hai.. 1-2 puraane affair tu theekh hain jyada tu phir ladki thodee gadbad ho jayege phir....
baki ladki hasne wali hoo, aanson shaadi ke raat saree bha le.. allowed hai, mein ghar usko subah thodee daar se lee aoonga.. vidayee extended for crying........
acha humne woh lakhon karodein mein ek wali baat tu baataaye nahin... height uski 5-8 tu hone chahiye, bal definitely lambe (bob, boy cut out) aankheen bas jinmein nasha hi nasha ho, hoonth hmmmm....... baki gym kasrat karke shape mein hooo....
yeh tu hoyee shaadi kiske karni uski baat,, aree uski parivaar aur sahelyoon ke baat tu reh gayee.. bas ekalee bete, baap ke pass paise he paisa...... mother in law bete se bhi pyaari,,, yeh bahut imp hai bcoz nahin tu bete ke budhape ka andaza wahin se lagega... bhai hona nahin chhahiye koyee..... bhene ek aad theekh hai..... haan shelyiaan jitne utni achee,,, jo humare bhi dost bankar raheennn... be broad minded frndssssssss.
chalo abhii shaadi tu ho gayee ab nibhanee kaise yeh sawaaal ( committment).. doston yeh jo committment word hai mere hisaab se har ladke ka sabse nafratheen shabad hogaa.... without any doubt locked on committment.......
tu pehle ek do saall tu pyaar, jaan pehchaan, dinner, functions,,, ppocho mat punjab mein tu dulhe ko khila khila kar mar dete hain..... acha sorry yaar honeymoon tu reh gaya,,, chalo woh bhi add karo.. chalo kya matlab yeh tu sabse imp hai... shaadi hotee hi honeymoon ke liye hai.. vaise yeh honeymoon wale kaam se tours and travels walee bada paisa kamatee hain.. singapore mein to poocho mat badh aaye hai inke.. chalo hum kyun jale kisse ke honeymoon se..
hum apna banayega.. destination.. yeh bhi sawaal hai ab... mere choice new zealand.. ladki ki kuch aur tu uski marzi, hum tu nz jakar hi banayaenge woh nahin tu aur......
aree nahin nahin usse ki saath mana lenge usko yaar...... acha phir ya planning child.. i thnk 2-3 saal baad.. nahin tu jayada late ho jayegaa... hum 40 ke aur bache nursery mein... mushkeel.. bahut icha hai bachoon ke saath badhee hone ki khelne kudne ne.. preference a girl baby doll....
wt say frnds...... in sab mein kaam dhandha tu lagta chaupat ho gayaa,.. vaise phil haal bhi bck to kaam, abhi shaaddi ke 2-3 saal hi theekh hain kyunki uske baad mujhe kaun jhelega tu divorce pucca... vaise tu chk latest on divorce search google.. india is making records...
baki doston apnee vicharr bhi dalon..
ajaad kyunvaaraa kuch din ke liye
ab hum sab us umar mein pahunch gaye jahan kabhi na sochne wale baat samne aati hai baar baar shaadi shaadi shaddi.... aur vaise bhi humare aas pass ki sabhe logon ke shaddi ho rahe hai.
tu mene bhi socha kyun na sabse poocha jaya aur sabse banta jaya apna iradaa.
bhai hum to bilkul tyaar hain shaadi ke liye. apni to poori planning hai shaadi ko le kar. ladki kaise hone chhahiye, uske ghar vale kaise, uske saheliyaan (most imp) etc etc. bhai ladki ek dum chand ka tukda, na lakhonn mein na karoodein bas duniya mein ek. baki jo thoda bahut khana bana le. bas MBA,MCA ho kafi hai jyada nahin, bas english bol lete ho, hain koi aur international language ho acha rahega, kal ko business mein help milege.. see global sochna padhta hai bhai ..
baki ladki susheel ho, gharelo ho but saath mein dance bhi jante ho.. aaj kal clubbing ka jamama hai bhai.. nahin tu ruppee room aur colaba walon ka dhandha bandh... baki ladki ke puraane affair thode kaam hi hoon.. nahin tu pata nahin kaunse mahi(bachna ee haseeno) humare haath aa jayee... baki aaj kal mushkeel hi hai.. 1-2 puraane affair tu theekh hain jyada tu phir ladki thodee gadbad ho jayege phir....
baki ladki hasne wali hoo, aanson shaadi ke raat saree bha le.. allowed hai, mein ghar usko subah thodee daar se lee aoonga.. vidayee extended for crying........
acha humne woh lakhon karodein mein ek wali baat tu baataaye nahin... height uski 5-8 tu hone chahiye, bal definitely lambe (bob, boy cut out) aankheen bas jinmein nasha hi nasha ho, hoonth hmmmm....... baki gym kasrat karke shape mein hooo....
yeh tu hoyee shaadi kiske karni uski baat,, aree uski parivaar aur sahelyoon ke baat tu reh gayee.. bas ekalee bete, baap ke pass paise he paisa...... mother in law bete se bhi pyaari,,, yeh bahut imp hai bcoz nahin tu bete ke budhape ka andaza wahin se lagega... bhai hona nahin chhahiye koyee..... bhene ek aad theekh hai..... haan shelyiaan jitne utni achee,,, jo humare bhi dost bankar raheennn... be broad minded frndssssssss.
chalo abhii shaadi tu ho gayee ab nibhanee kaise yeh sawaaal ( committment).. doston yeh jo committment word hai mere hisaab se har ladke ka sabse nafratheen shabad hogaa.... without any doubt locked on committment.......
tu pehle ek do saall tu pyaar, jaan pehchaan, dinner, functions,,, ppocho mat punjab mein tu dulhe ko khila khila kar mar dete hain..... acha sorry yaar honeymoon tu reh gaya,,, chalo woh bhi add karo.. chalo kya matlab yeh tu sabse imp hai... shaadi hotee hi honeymoon ke liye hai.. vaise yeh honeymoon wale kaam se tours and travels walee bada paisa kamatee hain.. singapore mein to poocho mat badh aaye hai inke.. chalo hum kyun jale kisse ke honeymoon se..
hum apna banayega.. destination.. yeh bhi sawaal hai ab... mere choice new zealand.. ladki ki kuch aur tu uski marzi, hum tu nz jakar hi banayaenge woh nahin tu aur......
aree nahin nahin usse ki saath mana lenge usko yaar...... acha phir ya planning child.. i thnk 2-3 saal baad.. nahin tu jayada late ho jayegaa... hum 40 ke aur bache nursery mein... mushkeel.. bahut icha hai bachoon ke saath badhee hone ki khelne kudne ne.. preference a girl baby doll....
wt say frnds...... in sab mein kaam dhandha tu lagta chaupat ho gayaa,.. vaise phil haal bhi bck to kaam, abhi shaaddi ke 2-3 saal hi theekh hain kyunki uske baad mujhe kaun jhelega tu divorce pucca... vaise tu chk latest on divorce search google.. india is making records...
baki doston apnee vicharr bhi dalon..
ajaad kyunvaaraa kuch din ke liye
Labels:
aajaad kyunvaaraa
Thursday, August 28, 2008
7 Rules to become a successful Govt Employee!! :)
A Govt Employee is sometimes like a broken cannon - it won't work and you can't fire it!!!
Ha ha ha…never appreciated this thought till one fine day…I myself landed up in a SARKARI Company!!! Ohkk..will give the name a miss….you see I do have some loyalty towards my company’s brand…irrespective of the fact that it got diluted long back!!! :D
Hmm so how does a typical day in the life of a Govt servant go???? Is he really the sarkari babu hidden behind that piles and piles of files???Or that sarkari Madam who is tooo bizi knitting in office..all the while waiting 4 the clock to strike 5!!!
Wellll things really aren’t THAT bad as they show in serials/movies…but then they aren’t any good either!!!
Though I strictly count myself out of the “Sarkari Karamchari” league…you see..a Mgmt grad is supposed to slog it out in the big bad corporate world!!!!But then dont they say….when in Rome…do as the Romans do!!! Bade Boodho ki seekh ko ignore nahin karma chahiye…
Being in this company for over two years now….I have somehow managed to maintain the perfect balance between the Lezzzzzzzzzzzzzy Bones Govt Servant and the Once in a while awake HR Professional within me!! :D
So a typical day at office for me like this…
Its 8 am…time to get up….. but hey!! I m still sleepy…and the world is not gonna fall apart if reach office a little late!!! Great..snooze on…I burry my head back in the pillow and doze off to glory……..
By 8:45 my conscience starts pricking..guess I should get up n head to office!!..Okk…chalo Company pe ek din aur ehsaan kar dete hain :D [ Rule No 1: Employee is the king]
Reach office by 9:30 [well the office time is 9…with 15 minute late reserve till 9:15…but then who is checking!!!!]…first thing first!! Switch on the computer…log onto gmail and gtalk :)…but hey…y isn’t gtalk getting logged in….call up my friend immediately..gtalk not working there too!!!wot!!! Gtalk is blocked!!! [in state of half faintness]….. Howwwwwwwww can the IT dept do this to us!!! Howwwwww will I pass my 8 hours in office now…..
I m depressed…sulking on my seat….I don’t want to do any work now….there is no gtalk…life is over!! K…sniff sniff….okk I m not crying….I can smell vada paaav somewhere…..arre here it comes……someone distributing vada paavs….wts d occasion??? None J..Rule No2: in a PSU u never need an occasion to party…. Just another way to keep ourselves bizi!! :)
Its 10:30 now…. My tummy is happy with the vada paav…. Its time for tea break now… all the staff has vanished into thin air….not expected back before another hour…great…I switch on music on my pc….take out the newspaper………of courrrrrse the magazine section!!!
11:30: I look at my work..Hmm some data required..I cal up Mr X…hes still out for morning tea!!!
Check gtalk again..still not working….ohk…time to think different…shoot mail to all my gtalk regulars…telling them about my miserable condition…. They all reply back with shocked exclamations and sympathies….and there starts chat on gmail :D..
There is noise in the hall outside..seems the staff is back…someone is solving crossword..some one sudoku…..hours fly by…. Who cares!!
Suddenly all d the shor dies down…arre wot happened!! Is it lunch time??? Yepp…12:30!! Aah here is my tiffin… well d maid cooks it for me….being the extremely bizi girl that I m…u dnt expect to prepare my tiffin!! Do u??? Time to call up a few ppl…I need company for lunch you see…the chit chat goes on long after the lunch time is over….. Rule No3: There is no lunch TIME
I call up Me X agen…well…hes off 4 lunch!!!
A look at the other paper…Ministry wants some replies…Uffffff…I’ll have to use my brain now…… chalo yeh bhi kar lete hain for a change….But 1 second…did I hear the gtalk beep??? Yessssssss…its working….my screen is flooded with windows….Oh I sooo love my frenz for this…. Gtalk rings in as a whiff of fresh air..I feel alive!!! Time to chat…time to catch up!!! Well..we do have learnt a lot about networking skills in our B-school….it was meant to be put in practice in job…I m sure my teachers would be proud of me one day!!
Marathon sessions of chatting gng on…..suddenly the peon enters my cabin with idli sambhar….i give him a quizzical look..he points towards the clock!! 3:30!! Snacks time…yeah..my eyes are also hurting with the long session at the comp….i enjoy my snack….aah happy tummy again :D… arre wots this paper trying to make its way into the sambar on my plate??? Oh it’s the ministry request!! I forgot to answer it!!Time to use my creative skills…. I come up with one golmol answer so that no one understands it and they don’t ask any more questions… One of the lessons I have learnt here… Rule No 4: Never answer the question being asked!! Put the whole universe on the paper but not the tiny dot required!! Mystery is the spice of life you see!!
Its 4:30… My frenz have all sent me shocked expression for my Bizi Status on gtalk… yeah rare things do happen…. Guess I shud get the ministry letter signed from my boss now…. I go to his room…hes bizi…..Great!! I show him the reply..he suggests a few changes..i make d changes and he signs…
Time to call Mr X…..hes out for evening tea!!! Rule no 5: work is wot you do in the little time left after the Morning tea/Lunch/Eve tea breaks!!
Its 5:00 now..he calls me…hey! I Fwded you a departments mail aaj subah…have you arranged for manpower for them???
Department’s mail???? It was not there on gmail!! Ohhhhhhhhh…I forgot I do have an OFFICIAL mail ID too!! Into which I have not logged on since morning…now cant tell boss that….wot to do..
Wait a sec..didnt the IT dept block my gtalk aaj subah?? Time for them to pay….well sir…. Seems the mail server is having some problem since morning…its not opening ….I called up the IT guy but he didn’t come only….so have not been able to check my mail..hopefully it will be ok by tomorrow :)
Boss: ok fine..kal kar lena…kaunsa koi deadline hai!! Rule no 6: There are no Deadlines!!!!
So I bid him goodbye….its 5:30 … time to head home!!!Rule no 7: Punctuality is very important…especially at the time of leaving the office!! *Grin
I return to my cabin….say goodbye to all my online friends….trying hard to fight back my tears…wot would I do without them!! Sob sob…
So you see times have changed…working in PSU is no longer about hearing cricket commentary on radio or knitting in office!!! PSUs are teach savvy …With things like messengers and other social networking options available….who cares about the rickety old radio or the knitting yarn!! PSUs these days have taken the concept of Employee friendliness very seriously :) all thanks to the great HR they have hired!! *wink….
Work life balance has been taken to new heights!! U come to office and vanish again to pay your electricity/credit card bills…no one complains!!
Employee health is of utmost importance…you can use 6 out of 8 hours of office time for your tea/coffee/lunch/walks…no one complains!!
Work timings flexibility at its peak…. Office timings…9:00 to 5:00…..u wake up late…reach office by 11??? No issues…get your morning Swipe –In time regularized to 9:15!!...No 1 complains!! :)
So all in all..working in a PSU = No work No Complain!!! :)
Oh!! Its 12:30!! Lunch Break…..party today….I gotta go!! Will Catch u guys later!!
Yours faithfully
(For ________Ltd)
[Another rule: PSUs are very touchy about formal salutations and regards ;)]
Ek Bechari - Sarkari Karamchaari ;)
Ha ha ha…never appreciated this thought till one fine day…I myself landed up in a SARKARI Company!!! Ohkk..will give the name a miss….you see I do have some loyalty towards my company’s brand…irrespective of the fact that it got diluted long back!!! :D
Hmm so how does a typical day in the life of a Govt servant go???? Is he really the sarkari babu hidden behind that piles and piles of files???Or that sarkari Madam who is tooo bizi knitting in office..all the while waiting 4 the clock to strike 5!!!
Wellll things really aren’t THAT bad as they show in serials/movies…but then they aren’t any good either!!!
Though I strictly count myself out of the “Sarkari Karamchari” league…you see..a Mgmt grad is supposed to slog it out in the big bad corporate world!!!!But then dont they say….when in Rome…do as the Romans do!!! Bade Boodho ki seekh ko ignore nahin karma chahiye…
Being in this company for over two years now….I have somehow managed to maintain the perfect balance between the Lezzzzzzzzzzzzzy Bones Govt Servant and the Once in a while awake HR Professional within me!! :D
So a typical day at office for me like this…
Its 8 am…time to get up….. but hey!! I m still sleepy…and the world is not gonna fall apart if reach office a little late!!! Great..snooze on…I burry my head back in the pillow and doze off to glory……..
By 8:45 my conscience starts pricking..guess I should get up n head to office!!..Okk…chalo Company pe ek din aur ehsaan kar dete hain :D [ Rule No 1: Employee is the king]
Reach office by 9:30 [well the office time is 9…with 15 minute late reserve till 9:15…but then who is checking!!!!]…first thing first!! Switch on the computer…log onto gmail and gtalk :)…but hey…y isn’t gtalk getting logged in….call up my friend immediately..gtalk not working there too!!!wot!!! Gtalk is blocked!!! [in state of half faintness]….. Howwwwwwwww can the IT dept do this to us!!! Howwwwww will I pass my 8 hours in office now…..
I m depressed…sulking on my seat….I don’t want to do any work now….there is no gtalk…life is over!! K…sniff sniff….okk I m not crying….I can smell vada paaav somewhere…..arre here it comes……someone distributing vada paavs….wts d occasion??? None J..Rule No2: in a PSU u never need an occasion to party…. Just another way to keep ourselves bizi!! :)
Its 10:30 now…. My tummy is happy with the vada paav…. Its time for tea break now… all the staff has vanished into thin air….not expected back before another hour…great…I switch on music on my pc….take out the newspaper………of courrrrrse the magazine section!!!
11:30: I look at my work..Hmm some data required..I cal up Mr X…hes still out for morning tea!!!
Check gtalk again..still not working….ohk…time to think different…shoot mail to all my gtalk regulars…telling them about my miserable condition…. They all reply back with shocked exclamations and sympathies….and there starts chat on gmail :D..
There is noise in the hall outside..seems the staff is back…someone is solving crossword..some one sudoku…..hours fly by…. Who cares!!
Suddenly all d the shor dies down…arre wot happened!! Is it lunch time??? Yepp…12:30!! Aah here is my tiffin… well d maid cooks it for me….being the extremely bizi girl that I m…u dnt expect to prepare my tiffin!! Do u??? Time to call up a few ppl…I need company for lunch you see…the chit chat goes on long after the lunch time is over….. Rule No3: There is no lunch TIME
I call up Me X agen…well…hes off 4 lunch!!!
A look at the other paper…Ministry wants some replies…Uffffff…I’ll have to use my brain now…… chalo yeh bhi kar lete hain for a change….But 1 second…did I hear the gtalk beep??? Yessssssss…its working….my screen is flooded with windows….Oh I sooo love my frenz for this…. Gtalk rings in as a whiff of fresh air..I feel alive!!! Time to chat…time to catch up!!! Well..we do have learnt a lot about networking skills in our B-school….it was meant to be put in practice in job…I m sure my teachers would be proud of me one day!!
Marathon sessions of chatting gng on…..suddenly the peon enters my cabin with idli sambhar….i give him a quizzical look..he points towards the clock!! 3:30!! Snacks time…yeah..my eyes are also hurting with the long session at the comp….i enjoy my snack….aah happy tummy again :D… arre wots this paper trying to make its way into the sambar on my plate??? Oh it’s the ministry request!! I forgot to answer it!!Time to use my creative skills…. I come up with one golmol answer so that no one understands it and they don’t ask any more questions… One of the lessons I have learnt here… Rule No 4: Never answer the question being asked!! Put the whole universe on the paper but not the tiny dot required!! Mystery is the spice of life you see!!
Its 4:30… My frenz have all sent me shocked expression for my Bizi Status on gtalk… yeah rare things do happen…. Guess I shud get the ministry letter signed from my boss now…. I go to his room…hes bizi…..Great!! I show him the reply..he suggests a few changes..i make d changes and he signs…
Time to call Mr X…..hes out for evening tea!!! Rule no 5: work is wot you do in the little time left after the Morning tea/Lunch/Eve tea breaks!!
Its 5:00 now..he calls me…hey! I Fwded you a departments mail aaj subah…have you arranged for manpower for them???
Department’s mail???? It was not there on gmail!! Ohhhhhhhhh…I forgot I do have an OFFICIAL mail ID too!! Into which I have not logged on since morning…now cant tell boss that….wot to do..
Wait a sec..didnt the IT dept block my gtalk aaj subah?? Time for them to pay….well sir…. Seems the mail server is having some problem since morning…its not opening ….I called up the IT guy but he didn’t come only….so have not been able to check my mail..hopefully it will be ok by tomorrow :)
Boss: ok fine..kal kar lena…kaunsa koi deadline hai!! Rule no 6: There are no Deadlines!!!!
So I bid him goodbye….its 5:30 … time to head home!!!Rule no 7: Punctuality is very important…especially at the time of leaving the office!! *Grin
I return to my cabin….say goodbye to all my online friends….trying hard to fight back my tears…wot would I do without them!! Sob sob…
So you see times have changed…working in PSU is no longer about hearing cricket commentary on radio or knitting in office!!! PSUs are teach savvy …With things like messengers and other social networking options available….who cares about the rickety old radio or the knitting yarn!! PSUs these days have taken the concept of Employee friendliness very seriously :) all thanks to the great HR they have hired!! *wink….
Work life balance has been taken to new heights!! U come to office and vanish again to pay your electricity/credit card bills…no one complains!!
Employee health is of utmost importance…you can use 6 out of 8 hours of office time for your tea/coffee/lunch/walks…no one complains!!
Work timings flexibility at its peak…. Office timings…9:00 to 5:00…..u wake up late…reach office by 11??? No issues…get your morning Swipe –In time regularized to 9:15!!...No 1 complains!! :)
So all in all..working in a PSU = No work No Complain!!! :)
Oh!! Its 12:30!! Lunch Break…..party today….I gotta go!! Will Catch u guys later!!
Yours faithfully
(For ________Ltd)
[Another rule: PSUs are very touchy about formal salutations and regards ;)]
Ek Bechari - Sarkari Karamchaari ;)
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