7 Rules to become a successful Govt Employee!! :)

A Govt Employee is sometimes like a broken cannon - it won't work and you can't fire it!!!

Ha ha ha…never appreciated this thought till one fine day…I myself landed up in a SARKARI Company!!! Ohkk..will give the name a miss….you see I do have some loyalty towards my company’s brand…irrespective of the fact that it got diluted long back!!! :D

Hmm so how does a typical day in the life of a Govt servant go???? Is he really the sarkari babu hidden behind that piles and piles of files???Or that sarkari Madam who is tooo bizi knitting in office..all the while waiting 4 the clock to strike 5!!!

Wellll things really aren’t THAT bad as they show in serials/movies…but then they aren’t any good either!!!

Though I strictly count myself out of the “Sarkari Karamchari” league…you see..a Mgmt grad is supposed to slog it out in the big bad corporate world!!!!But then dont they say….when in Rome…do as the Romans do!!! Bade Boodho ki seekh ko ignore nahin karma chahiye…

Being in this company for over two years now….I have somehow managed to maintain the perfect balance between the Lezzzzzzzzzzzzzy Bones Govt Servant and the Once in a while awake HR Professional within me!! :D

So a typical day at office for me like this…

Its 8 am…time to get up….. but hey!! I m still sleepy…and the world is not gonna fall apart if reach office a little late!!! Great..snooze on…I burry my head back in the pillow and doze off to glory……..

By 8:45 my conscience starts pricking..guess I should get up n head to office!!..Okk…chalo Company pe ek din aur ehsaan kar dete hain :D [ Rule No 1: Employee is the king]

Reach office by 9:30 [well the office time is 9…with 15 minute late reserve till 9:15…but then who is checking!!!!]…first thing first!! Switch on the computer…log onto gmail and gtalk :)…but hey…y isn’t gtalk getting logged in….call up my friend immediately..gtalk not working there too!!!wot!!! Gtalk is blocked!!! [in state of half faintness]….. Howwwwwwwww can the IT dept do this to us!!! Howwwwww will I pass my 8 hours in office now…..

I m depressed…sulking on my seat….I don’t want to do any work now….there is no gtalk…life is over!! K…sniff sniff….okk I m not crying….I can smell vada paaav somewhere…..arre here it comes……someone distributing vada paavs….wts d occasion??? None J..Rule No2: in a PSU u never need an occasion to party…. Just another way to keep ourselves bizi!! :)

Its 10:30 now…. My tummy is happy with the vada paav…. Its time for tea break now… all the staff has vanished into thin air….not expected back before another hour…great…I switch on music on my pc….take out the newspaper………of courrrrrse the magazine section!!!

11:30: I look at my work..Hmm some data required..I cal up Mr X…hes still out for morning tea!!!

Check gtalk again..still not working….ohk…time to think different…shoot mail to all my gtalk regulars…telling them about my miserable condition…. They all reply back with shocked exclamations and sympathies….and there starts chat on gmail :D..

There is noise in the hall outside..seems the staff is back…someone is solving crossword..some one sudoku…..hours fly by…. Who cares!!

Suddenly all d the shor dies down…arre wot happened!! Is it lunch time??? Yepp…12:30!! Aah here is my tiffin… well d maid cooks it for me….being the extremely bizi girl that I m…u dnt expect to prepare my tiffin!! Do u??? Time to call up a few ppl…I need company for lunch you see…the chit chat goes on long after the lunch time is over….. Rule No3: There is no lunch TIME

I call up Me X agen…well…hes off 4 lunch!!!

A look at the other paper…Ministry wants some replies…Uffffff…I’ll have to use my brain now…… chalo yeh bhi kar lete hain for a change….But 1 second…did I hear the gtalk beep??? Yessssssss…its working….my screen is flooded with windows….Oh I sooo love my frenz for this…. Gtalk rings in as a whiff of fresh air..I feel alive!!! Time to chat…time to catch up!!! Well..we do have learnt a lot about networking skills in our B-school….it was meant to be put in practice in job…I m sure my teachers would be proud of me one day!!

Marathon sessions of chatting gng on…..suddenly the peon enters my cabin with idli sambhar….i give him a quizzical look..he points towards the clock!! 3:30!! Snacks time…yeah..my eyes are also hurting with the long session at the comp….i enjoy my snack….aah happy tummy again :D… arre wots this paper trying to make its way into the sambar on my plate??? Oh it’s the ministry request!! I forgot to answer it!!Time to use my creative skills…. I come up with one golmol answer so that no one understands it and they don’t ask any more questions… One of the lessons I have learnt here… Rule No 4: Never answer the question being asked!! Put the whole universe on the paper but not the tiny dot required!! Mystery is the spice of life you see!!

Its 4:30… My frenz have all sent me shocked expression for my Bizi Status on gtalk… yeah rare things do happen…. Guess I shud get the ministry letter signed from my boss now…. I go to his room…hes bizi…..Great!! I show him the reply..he suggests a few changes..i make d changes and he signs…

Time to call Mr X…..hes out for evening tea!!! Rule no 5: work is wot you do in the little time left after the Morning tea/Lunch/Eve tea breaks!!

Its 5:00 now..he calls me…hey! I Fwded you a departments mail aaj subah…have you arranged for manpower for them???
Department’s mail???? It was not there on gmail!! Ohhhhhhhhh…I forgot I do have an OFFICIAL mail ID too!! Into which I have not logged on since morning…now cant tell boss that….wot to do..

Wait a sec..didnt the IT dept block my gtalk aaj subah?? Time for them to pay….well sir…. Seems the mail server is having some problem since morning…its not opening ….I called up the IT guy but he didn’t come only….so have not been able to check my mail..hopefully it will be ok by tomorrow :)

Boss: ok fine..kal kar lena…kaunsa koi deadline hai!! Rule no 6: There are no Deadlines!!!!

So I bid him goodbye….its 5:30 … time to head home!!!Rule no 7: Punctuality is very important…especially at the time of leaving the office!! *Grin

I return to my cabin….say goodbye to all my online friends….trying hard to fight back my tears…wot would I do without them!! Sob sob…

So you see times have changed…working in PSU is no longer about hearing cricket commentary on radio or knitting in office!!! PSUs are teach savvy …With things like messengers and other social networking options available….who cares about the rickety old radio or the knitting yarn!! PSUs these days have taken the concept of Employee friendliness very seriously :) all thanks to the great HR they have hired!! *wink….

Work life balance has been taken to new heights!! U come to office and vanish again to pay your electricity/credit card bills…no one complains!!

Employee health is of utmost importance…you can use 6 out of 8 hours of office time for your tea/coffee/lunch/walks…no one complains!!

Work timings flexibility at its peak…. Office timings…9:00 to 5:00…..u wake up late…reach office by 11??? No issues…get your morning Swipe –In time regularized to 9:15!!...No 1 complains!! :)

So all in all..working in a PSU = No work No Complain!!! :)

Oh!! Its 12:30!! Lunch Break…..party today….I gotta go!! Will Catch u guys later!!


Yours faithfully
(For ________Ltd)
[Another rule: PSUs are very touchy about formal salutations and regards ;)]
Ek Bechari - Sarkari Karamchaari ;)